Thursday, November 30, 2006

Xmas Factor !

We are holding a Xmas Factor competition at school a week tomorrow (8th December).... I am one of the judges and mentors ... Louis(a) Walsh. My category is the soloists and I have to mentor my charges to perform on the night.

I have Christopher who is in Year 11 and no-one knew he sang ... he was a shock entrant at the auditions and absolutely took my breath away. He made the hairs on my arms stand on end, and made me cry - talk about the voice of an angel !

I then have Beverley who is in Year 11- who has performed several times on stage, has a fantastic powerful voice ... but thinks she knows it all, and we're clashing !

Lastly I have the lovely Year 7 Hayley. She truly has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard, but who has never performed on stage - I have a gut feeling that on the night, her bottle will go .... please god, keep her together for me.

Anyway, all three of us judges are fighting for different lighting and 'extras' for our performers. Carl, our music teacher, got in there first and has pinched the snowflakes that I wanted .... and numerous other 'gadgets and gismos'...

I have managed to secure two Xmas trees to drop from the ceiling as Hayley is 'doing her number' .... and a chaise longe (sp) for Beverley as she's singing Santa Baby ... but I wanted snow when Christopher was singing ..... or pyrotechnics ... I can't have the snow coz Carl has got it .... and unbelievably, the school have refused to let me have fireworks - I am shocked and saddened ....

Dya know what they offered me instead of fireworks and snowflakes ....

Cornflakes !!!

Cornflakes ? What the f**k am I gonna do with cornflakes !!!???? and Debbie Duck, do not say eat em !

Oh, we also have three teachers in the competition - now that should be really funny !

Anyway, practice continues .... so I will keep you updated .... i'm sure you can't wait !!!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

~~~ Snuggly again ...... ~~~

The wonderful boiler man came today (i will not moan about the 8 week wait) and fitted our new boiler - YAY !!!

We now have hot water and central heating - YAY !!!!

I am warm ... I can wash the dishes without boiling kettles .... I can have a bath instead of a shower - YAY !!!!

Anyone for a full-to-the-brim-bubble-bath ???

*is happy*

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

~~ RIP Joanne (Ward) ~~~

You were a part of my life for too short a time, yet your courage, bravery and wicked sense of humour will remain in my heart for a lifetime.

Mammy Hen posted this on UKS ...

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

My thoughts and prayers are with Jo's family and those whose lives Jo touched.

RIP my friend, you are free as a bird now ... xxxxxxxx

Thursday, November 16, 2006

*** OMG *** *** a really serious OMG ***

OMG - Sarah @ sarahscards is pregnant with twins !!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean just how coolio is that ?!?!!! I am so overjoyed that I am laughing and crying at the same time !!! TWINS !!!! YAY !!!!

I'm a twin - and I adore being a twin. I love seeing twins together - watching them play is fantastic. Over time you can see how one is more dominant than the other - you never hear them say 'i've got no-one to play with' .... and have you ever seen a Silver Cross Double Coach-built pram - they are not only enormous, but stunningly gorgeous !!!!

Right, i'm running off to the hairdressers now for another chop - but I just wanted to pass on my congrats to SARAH and ROSS - I am overjoyed for you both - All my love - me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Had another fall today, well two ... first one I almost fell sideways and second one I fell UP the stairs and re-hurt my knees and hands.

Felt a right stupid moo.

Will phone doctors tomorrow in case its an ear infection or summit.

Monday, November 13, 2006

I am injured !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it ... well I can ... but I'm still blushing ....

I had a bad fall at school today. I was looking in my bag for something and missed a step and ended up falling straight onto my knees - the place was packed with kids who all started laughing at me , but when I started crying, they all ran off hysterically - one to get me a chair and the rest ran off all over the school. The next thing is, three deputy-heads came running out, the Bursor, the Receptionist and two First Aiders !!!! Awww I always give em a hard time (i'm really strict on them - but would like to think fair), so it was luvverly to see the nice side of them !!! Anyway, I've got big scabby swollen, throbby knees !!


An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day.

The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine.

He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.

"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."

"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.

"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

Laugh or puke ?

Sunday, November 12, 2006

*** ROZ ***

I can't post on your blog *insert very sad smiley*

That last joke of yours absolutely rocks !!!!!!

** Behold !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My spirits are lifted !!!!

Noooooooooooooooooo not the gin and tonic ... MY spirits ... and not the ghostly ones either - I'm feeling much cheerier .... Hoooray I hear you all shouting !!!

Went to the Manchester Crop today and had a fabby day ... managed to do one layout in between filling my face from the chocolate fountain, and gabbing !!

Its such a fab crop, and there's always a lovely friendly atmosphere. Added to that, it was Lemon's Birthday and Paul had brought a surprise birthday cake - bless !

It really was a great day, and it was lovely to spend time with such lovely, funny people - I love em all xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday Joke

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal.

Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger.

He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Thursday Thinkers ......

UKS Cybercrop

I'm in the Hufflepuffs and my 'Magic' name is Perpetua Phoeinxfire !! Posh or wot ??

Also, and I know its news to you folks - but i've just today given birth to triplets - yes, i've become 'Mummy' to three utterly butterly triplets called acidburnrosie, bitsandbobs and jimjams .... am I lucky or wot ??? Can't wait to see what trouble i get them into during this Cyber Crop.

I must say, the funniest thing that happened was during the Mardi Gras crop earlier on in the year. I'd logged on at about 6.00am because I just couldn't sleep - and lo and behold .. there were other people in the chat room including Scrapbunny ... Fi was dropping hints about the first challenge .. which was summit to do with ladders. Well, the previous evening I had 'spied' this 'tip off', and I'd made Stewart go straight out, and get the ladders out of the shed. So, that Sunday morning, I was well prepared and ready for the challenge - and I told Fi that my ladders were ready for the off .... Typical me and my big gob - Fi didn't mean ladders in the 'normal' sense ... she meant that we would be doing a psychological LO about obstacles that we'd had to overcome and ladders that we'd had to climb. (you had to be there ... it was sooooo funny) Anyway, when we'd all calmed down from laughing ... she gave us an instant challenge - We all had to get a photo of our 'cyber buddy' teddies wearing their mardi gras masks ON A LADDER !!! Can you imagine 20+ women across the country running outside in their pj's clambering for photographs of teddies in masks on ladders !!!

That moment has defo been one of my favourite highlights since joining UKS - besides making so many wonderful friends.

Just to add on the end of this post that I've had an ok day today - i've not eaten bread all day - can't say there's been a massive difference, but then again, i've not been taking the tablets for 24 hours, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this might help.

Joke of the Day

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."

I don't know whether to laugh or puke !!!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Bugger bugger bugger .....

I must have been really bad in my past life - I don't believe it !!!!!!!!!

I've had a really 'icky' very painful tummy for quite a few days now. It felt as if I had a lump or something under my belly button. My belly looks as if I'm 9 months pregnant, and about to give birth, and every time I eat I 'have to go' even mid-meal :(

My twin brother had a belly button hernia about 18 months ago and had to have it operated on, so I thought it was that.

Anyway, felt really crap in work today, so got Stewart to phone docs for an appointment. It turns out he thinks I have Irritable Bowel. Bloody hell - this is all I need. Oh, and if I don't improve within two weeks then I've to go back :(

I've said it before - I hate being ill - and I hate feeling crap - but bloody hell, I rattle with tablets as it is without taking more. I am sooooooooooo fed up - as if I haven't got enough to sodding deal with at the moment :(

On a lighter note ........

Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that''s going around?"

The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you''re a penguin, doesn''t it?"

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Secret Halloween Layout ... and more

Halloween Layout

I won a prize for it on another forum - yay !!!!! It amazes me that the layouts that just 'put themselves together' are the ones I'm more thrilled with.

I confess to having spent 3 hours on a layout once - and it is absolutely utter garbage - it has NEVER been shown anywhere and won't !!!

Hubby and I

Things are better - for now. I can't believe we had a 'tiff' over whether we bought a wholemeal loaf or a granary loaf - honestly, if I'd had enough of a loaf left it would have gone 'where the sun don't shine' !!!!


Is still very pregnant and I'm still very happy - YAY for Sarah !!!

Manchester Crop

I can't believe how excited I am about Sunday's crop - not only is it a full day of scrapping and chatting - but its a CHOCOLATE CROP !!!!!! Sam is bringing a chocolate fountain with heaps of chocolate and goodies to 'dip' in ..... just give me the whole fountain is what I say !!!

Did I mention that whilst on our visit to Edinburgh there was a chocolate fountain in Thorntons and they were charing £1.50 for a slug from the choccie fountain - and £1.94 for a fruit kebab and dip in the fountain - the kebab consisted of two slices of kiwi, two slices of apple and two slices of something that i've yet to discover what it was !!!! £1.95 - the robbing barstewards !!!


Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.

After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.

Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away.

"There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath."

"That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it into the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water."

"What about your husband? asked the model.

"Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris.

"Good," said the model. "Now that that's been settled, I'll go to the studio and see you tonight."

That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model. After stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair.

The model noticed Doris' staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimmer or underclothes.

Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he does not believe her.
"It's true, I tell you!" said Doris. "Look, if you don't believe me, tomorrow night I'll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself."

The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris prepared the bath for the model. As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her.

Doris looked towards the curtains and pointed towards the model's naked pubic area. Then she lifted up her skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass.

Later Fred returned and they retired to bed.

"Well, do you believe me now?" she asked Fred. "Yes, he replied. "I've never seen anything like it in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?"
"Just to show you the difference," answered Doris. "But I guess you've seen me millions of times."

"Yes, said Fred, I have - but the rest of the dart team hadn't."

I'll leave you all with that sobering thought ............

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Topy Turvy Life ...

My life is so topsy turvy .... I am sooooooo busy with 'getting on with life' things .. yet I do have spare time, but it whizzes past me.

We're fighting to keep our school from an amalgamation at the moment - Save Our School - is our battle cry. We had a fantastic meeting with Councillors at our school last week and then the same session including the parents. 200 parents, past-students, locals turned up for the event. The kids in school made banners, badges, art work, poetry ... it was a fantastic response !

We've had a multi-million pound sports centre built in the last few years and last year we had an Olympic sized athletics track and 'more sporty stuff'' built - so how come they're even considering closing our school - its beyond me !!

The truly fantastic thing that has come out of it tho, is the way that the whole school has joined together - pupils, teachers and governors. The atmosphere around school is tremendous !!

I have always believed that behind every tragedy in life that there is a silver lining - and this has been ours.

So fingers crossed everyone that Rochdale Council decide to keep MY school and the other school open.


Hubby and I are having a crap time at the moment - can't put my finger on it, and he won't open up and talk. I know he's in constant pain, and I know he's bored at home all day - but unless he can open up to me, then there's nothing I can do - I really just wanna run away at the moment *insert sad smiley*

Oh well, at least i've got the Manchester crop next Sunday and then Sarah's retreat on the weekend of the 25th to look forward to - jeez I need a break. I just hate leaving the little fella when hubs is feeling like this.....

Sorry to heap this on my 'readers' but I need to offload somewhere.


I know you read this so once again I just want to publically/blog-ly say thank you for being there for me - you're my saving angel and I luvs ya loads xxxx