Friday, May 18, 2007

RIP Denise

My friend Sue from 'home' phoned me on Wednesday night to inform me that yet another of my friends had passed away.

Denise was an alcoholic and had been for years. She was 38 and left two young children of 12 and 7.

In our single days, there used to be about 6 of us who would meet up on a Wednesday, go for a drink and then land at Sue's house and have a take-away. Our weekends would be spent drinking and nightclubbing.

However, once we were all married and/or had our children, we just kept up our Wednesday night 'dates'. Over time though, it was obvious that Denise had a problem. I won't go into details, this isn't the place, and I'm not sure I won't word it right, but I need to get things off my chest. Denise lost a great job, a wonderful husband who tried for years to help her, she lost her home and then she eventually lost her kids. Surely at some point, something would have 'registered' with her that something was wrong??? Surely something more could have been done. As friends we tried to talk to her about it, and she confessed that she knew she had a problem, but that it was under control. Eventually, she would just get nasty if you mentioned it.

The last time I remember seeing her, she looked like a tramp and stank of booze.

I wish to god I had given her a good shake then and tried to make her see sense. Even after being hospitalised on many occasions - she still carried on.

I just can't find a rhyme or reason to it .... I wish I had an answer.

I know now that she is at peace and rid of this wretched illness.

Love to you and yours xx

9 comments:

Nat xxx said...

So sorry to hear about the loss of your old friend Cal. Alcoholism is a terrible disease and there's little help that us non-professionals can offer. At least she'll be at peace now.

Big hugs, Nat xxxx

Rach said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's passing. My step-father was an alcoholic and died 2 years ago. The last few years were a living hell and no matter what you say or do for them, they will only help themselves if they really want to. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

Pauline (pmk) said...

As the others have said, theres little you can do to help an alcoholic unless they are in the right place mentally to accept that help. I suspect it's the same with any addiction. Sorry to hear about your friend, it does feel like such a waste when something like this happens (I felt the same with my dad) and it has such far-reaching effects for everyone involved (friends/family). Sending lots of love.

eleven said...

so sorry to hear that...
hugs from china...
everyone has the different track of life......

Roz Roz said...

Sending you hugs and love, I'm here if you need to chat darling.

Kelly said...

so sorry to hear your bad news Cal, but some good news for you, youve been mojo'd !!!


check out www.mojoholder.blogspot.com

Bev said...

So sorry to hear that news Cal .... it is never easy losing a friend and that is so young to lose someone in such circumstances. Sending you lots of love and hugs and thinking of you xxxxxx

Louise Stevenson said...

Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend... my uncle died after being an alcoholic for years.. people without the terrible illness can never understand how hard it must be for sufferers... I hope she is at peace now.

(((((hugs))))) to you.

Alex said...

Oh Cal, so sorry to hear your sad news, I know how you must be feeling as well as the anger you must be going through as well, both my Mum and step-father were alcoholics and unless, like yourself, you witness it either as a friend or a relative, it can't be understood. Unfortunately because of the alcohol and smoking, she got cancer of the Mouth and it took her a year later, stupid thing was it made her give up drinking for the last year!!! My step-dad gave up for the year and then after she passed went back to drinking, 10 years later after abusing alcohol and then giving up again, he passed away from cancer as well in Feb. So huge hugs being sent your way and to her family as well xx