Wow - that went quick ....

My weeks holiday from school that is - swoosh .... its gone ....

Anyway, a week from today, I will be at the Away with the Fairies Retreat ... I just soooo cannot wait for it. In honour of the event, I have been doing some stamping and a bit of collaging ... and a bit of experimenting. I used to really love stamping, and then sort of went off it a bit. Sold a heap of my stamps on ebay for a pittance and I now find myself looking for stamps that have gone :(

Anyway, above (or wherever it ends up) is a card I made by bleach stamping. I used to love using this technique because it turns out different every time - Edited: altered it slightly so that it would comply with the sketch challenge on Card Positioning Systems (CPS) a new card sketch challenge blog - pop over and have a look !

Have a fabby weekend everyone - Heaps of hugs - me xxxxxxxx

Most Excellent News - and Happy Valentines !

I have been selected to join the Angel Crafts Design Team !!!

I truly didn't think I would make the team especially looking at the galleries of everyone else who has been selected, but YAY !!! I did !!

Valentines Day

Well, here was me thinking that Stewart and I had agreed to not buy each other anything, and lo and behold this morning he presents me with a hoooge box of my fave Lindt chocolates AND ... a bottle of my fave champagne !! I was sooooooo chuffed ! Bless, i'll let him off doing no housework today ... and I'll even forgive him for not even doing the breakfast dishes !

Lianne and I toddled off to one of the many Retail Centre's in Manchester today with Sophie and Aaron. I couldn't believe it, but I managed to get some of the place/order holders to clip my happy flowers onto. I'll take a picture later and load them up ! Anyway, whilst we were there, Lianne decided to look for some 'wee' trainers for Sophiekins ..... As we were waiting for the Assistant to bring us some trainers, we spotted these humongous trainers - and I mean humongous !! They were absolute whoppers ! They looked like canoes ..... well we laughed and giggled at the size of them ... the Assistant came back, and he nearly died when I said to him "is it true what they say about big feet because if it is, I bet fellas who were these shoes have their 'doodahs' strapped to their legs ! Said Assistant howled with laughter and was still giggling as we were leaving ... but honestly - you have never seen a pair of shoes in your life as big as what these ones were ........... again, i'll load a picture of them later !

Anyway - love and kisses to you all on this most wonderful-lest of Valentines Days xxxxxxx

Blog hopping and Away with the Fairies !

I have been blog hopping this afternoon - and came upon the most fantastic blog ... wait until you see these creations - OMG - utterly fab fab fab ... here's the link to Lea Lawson's blog .. please just spend a minute looking, you won't be disappointed !

Anyway, I can't believe its less than two weeks until we all trek down to Oxford for the Away with the Fairies retreat.

Lianne and I were chatting about it tonight, and I was talking about how I will react when I actually get to meet one of my heroes Sir Tim - anyway, just i'm starting to buzz about Sir Tim, the phone goes and its Orlando !!! I had forgotten to send in my meal order for at the Hotel ... anyway, we chatted for ages about the retreat, and I was nearly peeing my pants - oh boy, I just cannot wait another 10 sleeps until I get there .......... well I will have to, but I really don't want to wait .... anyway, I'm sure I'll pee my pants by the time I get to meet the 'man' himself .... I have a feeling I will faint if he even says hello to me.

This really is a dream come true for me ... i've followed him for years and years (not stalking following, but following following if you know what i mean) .... never once thinking that I would ever get to take a class with him .... and here I am, little old me .... going to not only meet him but take a class with him - i'm gobsmacked. Honestly !!!!!!!!

Well, the layout above was made tonight while Lianne was here - for once we actually got some scrapping done instead of scoffing, drinking pop and laughing !

Take care everyone and don't forget to follow your dreams because you never know, one day they might come true. xx

My my ... loads to catch up on ......

School

We've had the school production of Oliver this week, and I always get roped in to doing the make up for the kids. This year we involved 18 primary school kids from surrounding schools, and they were absolutely fantastic !!! I haven't posted a picture of them for obvious reasons, but the kids at my school (and parents) have given the ok for theirs to be posted ... so here/there/wherever ... are a few of our kids in all their glory !!!

Thank goodness its all over tho. The show was on for 3 nights, and I had to be back in school for 5.30 every night .... I really do feel a bit knackered today ... but it really was well worth it !!!

Other News

So much going on at the moment that I'm meeting myself trying to catch up !!! Had a bit of a health scare last week when I got carted off by ambulance with a suspected heart attack - it turned out to be IBS and my fault because I haven't been taking the tablets properly ... 3 a day I'm supposed to be taking NOT one when I feel unwell !!! Ooops ! Week before that, my BP soared and my heart was racing so Doc has put me on Beta Blockers - I feel really fab on them ... so thanks to Dr Majunder - he has a lot to put up with from me !!!

Scrapping wise I haven't done a lot, as I've been busy making Valentine cards and other commissioned cards - god knows why i've got a run on cards at the moment. I must get some scrapping done tho as I have a load of photos to get printed off and scrapped !

Joke

Our Four Sons

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enought that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari.” The third guy says, “I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.” Just as the third guy fininshes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, “What are you guys talking about?'“Just about how good our sons are doing,” the three men replied. “Well, my son is doing very well,” says the fourth man, “He's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home.”

Have you seen ........

......... the new Blog by Fairies with Tude ? ..... well, I made this chipbox after accidentally stumbling into their Blog .... cool or what ? It can be used for sooooo many things ... an address book, a card reminder, send gifts in ..... absolutely allsorts ... I am soooo chuffed with this !!!

I made mine using American Crafts papers and heaps of ribbons from Little Silver Hat

Catching up ...... (and I've been tagged again)

Oops - I seem to have been a tad remisce in posting on my blog ... anyway ...

I've had a bit of a heart scare (again). BP very high and my heart was racing, so doc has added a beta blocker to the mound of tablets that I'm already taking. Funnily enough, I only had a banging thumping headache that wouldn't shift .. but other than that, I felt ok in myself - ho hum. I'm feeling fine now, but stressing myself stupid about dying ... I need to get the thought out of my head, and stop being stupid so someone please give me a kick up the posterior.

Anyway, my latest round layouts, should be somewhere in this post .... again, where they turn up is anyone's bet !!!

While I've been off school, i've also made a start on Valentines cards - the kids at school always ask me to make a 'special' card for them, so in preparation i've made a start. I got some fab lushy lush ribbons from Lianne (www.littlesilverhat.co.uk) and i'm on a role .... isn't it funny that a single ribbon/piece of paper/embellishment can set you off on a role ... but a role I am on anyway !!

Swimming

Aaron started swimming lessons at the new baths tonight. He has no confidence in the water whatsoever even at 11, and although i'm not a pushy mother, I really have been pushy over this swimming malarky. He was previously having lessons at the main pool in Rochdale, but because of the confidence issues, they put him in a class with the toddlers !!! I could have cried for him ..... anyway, the class he is now with are kids his own age or just slightly older and he feels so much more happier about it now .... Well he must be happier because he swam a whole length on his back without floats and he's never done that before - rock on Aaron !!!!

Besides which, my brother who is now a [sea] Captain was exactly the same and hated the water until he was about 14 - ironic or wot ??

Tagged again .... by Hosiemosie

1. grab the book closest to you

2. open to page 123, go down to the fourth sentence

3. post the text of the following three sentences on your blog

4. name of the author and book

5. tag three people of you own

"When Sergeant Player arrived at the committee headquaters, a requisitioned building in the Place de la Madeleine, he took his place in line waiting to receive a folder of information about what was expected of him, while he was on Allied territory - how to locate the Eiffel Tower, which clubs and restaurants were within his price range, how to avoid catching VD. It looked as if this advice was being dispensed by a group of middle aged ladies who couldn't possibly have seen the inside of a nightclub for the past twenty years".

Jeffrey Archer - The Fourth Estate

Tagging - Debbie Duck, Chrissie and Roz

(will add links tomorrow)

Crop and latest 'round' Layout ...........

Had a fab crop today at the Manchester crop - Sam had bought the obligatory danishes and the most delicous butter scones that I've ever tasted - yum, yum pigs bum !

Anyway, I took my delicious-es-es-es-es Basic Grey Blush .... started the next round layout, and what happened .................. I only went and knocked a whole cup of tea all over it .... I could have cried. The photograph I had used was an original and was the first one of my mum holding Aaron at four days old. He was so damaged and jaundiced after giving birth to him,that I was the only one allowed to touch him. So the photograph is just sooo special to me.

Thankfully everyone around me jumped up as I'm in a state of frozen panic - and people came from nowhere with tissues and kitchen roll. June snatched the layout, ripped off the photograph and dabbed it quick - and thank heavens it was ok ...... I then borrowed Pauls (Olbas Paul) heat gun and dried out the layout ..... I couldn't believe it when it turned out distressed !!!! It was fabby !! So thank you to everyone for saving the day !!

Anyway, here/above/at the side .... wherever it bloody turns up once i've posted it - is the 'distressed' BG Blush layout !!!!

Joke (for those who have missed them)

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting.

"thirteen thirteen thirteen!" goes the noise from the mental hospital wards.

The mans curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. Its not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye. As he reels back in agony,the chanting continues ................

"fourteen fourteen fourteen!"

Ok - hands up all of those who would have peeked through the hole !!!!!!!!!!

First layout 2007

I spotted a round layout on PageMaps, and thought what a fab idea it would be to do a whole album of round layouts as a BOM (book of me) .... so, this is my first !!

Just need to make an album to contain the layouts now, but I'm looking forward to the challenge !!

I've also decided to do a lot more stamping this year ... i've sort of got a bit despondent about my talents with stamping and have decided that to get better I need to practice. I'm going to try and do a bit of stamping on each layout .... she says - famous last words !!

So ...... what skills/techniques are you going to try and master this year ???

Happy New Year ... and Interesting Reading !!

Happy New Year to all my friends old and new.

2006 has been a funny old year for me. It started off so well .. and then I had the mini-strokes at Easter and life changed. I've always been 'flippant' ab0ut life. I have always expected to grow old very disgracefully, but the mini-strokes sort of brought me up to a halt. I have changed my life gradually, although I often 'slip' at times .... but I have decided that 2007 is the year that I will do something about my lifestyle.

I have lost three very dear friends this year. Lynne, Joanne Ward and over Christmas an old friend from school Andrew Duncan passed away. Joanne could do nothing to change her untimely passing. Nothing she could have done would have saved her. Lynne and Andy had they have known, could have taken steps to ensure a longer life - which sort of puts things into perspective for me.

On a lighter note I have had so many highs this year.

At school, I have made massive headways to win over 'challenging' students and in some cases, to make real friendships with them.

I have been accepted for three design teams - what a boost that has given me !

And lastly, through the wonderful art of scrapbooking I have made many lifelong friendships. You are all so very special and dear to me. You enhance my life and without you all I wouldn't be the person I am - so thank you xx

Write a list!

Just saw this on Debbie Ducks blog who found it on Chrissie's blog.

Those in red I have done, and if I tell you about them then I'd have to kill you !!!

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said “I love you’ and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest (pregnant nun)
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert” (three times)
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children (or…raising children)
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking (I'm always doing it)
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds (cumulatively, if you count pregnancy! lol!)
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi (BLEUGH)
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes ... yum!
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care (dad)
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life

Lubberly Night Out .... desertion ... :( ...... and YAY .... and Joke !

A gang of us went out last night to celebrate both Lianne's Birthday and Joanne's love of sour cream. Apparently, on a trip to Holland to see Anita, Jo fell in love with sour cream (according to Dutch rumours ... she ate a bucket full) .... so we dedicated a trip to Chilli Jacks in Warrington to Joanne and it shows how meant to be it was ... that it fell on Lianne's Birthday !!

It was a truly lovely night. Good friends and excellent food and I know Joanne would have loved it as well.

I say we count our blessings for all the wonderful friends we have made through scrapping - you're a rare and special breed !!! xxxxxxxxxx

Desertion !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lianne has deserted me.

Gone.

:(

Its awful :(

I went to call round to her house at lunchtime and then remembered that she'd 'gone dowen sowf' :(

*insert woe is me smiley*

I truly feel as if my left arm has been cut off. I feel bereft :(

*insert another woe is me smiley*

Isn't it funny how you don't need to live in one anothers pockets, but still miss someone so much ?? I don't know how she wangled her way into my heart, but she did and she has ... and I miss not being able to 'pop' round or pick up the phone.

I feel bereft :(

*hopes someone takes pity on me*

YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have broken up from school - i can lie in ..... as such ... Aaron is still at school for two days but at least I don't have to rush about with my head between my tails as I do most mornings !!!

YAY !!!!!!

Joke

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Manchester Crop ... Celebrity Stalking and more !!!

Well, we had a truly fabulous day at the Manchester Crop yesterday. I managed to get the last of the ordered Star Books done - the picture of it is above !!!

Sam had left little gifts, christmas crackers and candy cane for everyone at their desks and I was so touched that she'd gone to so much effort, it was lovely. I received so many beautiful handmade cards that I could have cried at the effort people went to - thank you all, they mean so much to me xx

Anyway ... lets get to the gossip and the celebrity stalker ... JulieM (UKS) .......

Well, Anita (Mundt) attended our crop (It was actually Anita's first UK crop) ... I mean how cool is that ?!!!! BUT .. and here it comes ... our little celebrity stalker friend JulieM totally monopolised Anitas time. She sat elbow to elbow with poor Anita the WHOLE day ... she kept going and making ANITA cups of tea, bringing her plates of grub from the buffet, laughing at her jokes ...looking dreamily into Anita's eyes ... get the picture ???

Did WE ... her friends get so much as a cup of tea - NO

Did WE .... other crafters get to speak to Anita ... well yes, but with Julie in tow

Did WE .... even get to sit near Anita - NO ... because JulieM was too bloody scared to shift her backside in case someone sat by Anita !!! She sat there glued to her flipping chair the whole day !

Now those who attend the Manchester crop know that this is not Julie - she's always fussing about, always making cups of tea ... always encouraging us to do our work etc., etc., ..... but not on this occasion .. oh no ! The celebrity stalker that IS JulieM sat on her posterior and didn't budge ... NOT ONCE !!!

......... and there is worse to come ............ her long standing friend, the lovely, wonderful cook that is JOOLS ... was dumped/ditched/fired off/ignored .... Julie sat that far away from Jools you'd have thought Jools had the lurgy ! My heart goes out to Jools who has supported and befriended 'she who cannot be named' for over 14 years !!!!

*insert sobbing smiley for Jools*

Due to the upset that this all caused ... I felt it my duty ... no ... my right to have to say something to 'she who cannot be named' .... I mean ... poor Jools ...... So of course, once something was said .... that was it .....

We laughed and laughed and laughed .. I haven't laughed so much in such a very long time !!!! I'm not sure if Anita caught on at first that we were all winding Julie up ... but quickly she realised what was going on and just 'went with the flow' !!! PML - I really don't think Anita will ever forget her first UK crop - not ever !!

I suppose you needed to be there - but OMG we are NOT gonna let JulieM live it down - EVER !!

EDITED: Forgot to mention that 'she who cannot be named' has demanded aka wants us all to curtsey to her ... me ? curtsy ? Oooooooooooh I just don't fink sooooo ....

Thanks to everyone who was there - it really was a fabulous fabulous day xx

Chrimble Tree

Its done !!!! YAY !!!! It doesn't look as bushy or full as in real life - but it is lovely honest !!!

Updates ... flying .... news ... goss ...

Haha I just luuuuuuuurv this new beta blog - soooooo much faster !

Anyway, updates .... Secret Santa Dave is a hit ... literally .. He came to see me first thing Monday morning to ask when his next stage performance will be !!! He gave me a huuuuuge kiss on the cheek, lifted me up (which isn't easy believe me) and swung me round .... bless ! I couldn't believe it, but the girls were queuing up to speak to him and they were all giving me dirty looks ... ME ... dirty looks !!! I wonder if I should give up teaching and just become Davids manager ???

Book of Me

As promised after reading Anita's beautiful eulogy to Joanne on UK, I've started my BOM - yay !!! First page describes me to a 't' ... but hey, I can live with that ... I'll pop it on here somewhere ... as I never know exactly WHERE the photos are gonna pop up !!!

Does anyone else find it difficult scrapping themselves or putting thoughts about yourself down on paper ??? I don't like admitting I have faults (and I only have a couple - honest) !!

Flylady

Ok, so after all my protestations about the woman, I decided (after reading her somewhat hefty website) that I did MOST of the routines that she does - so I've gone for it .... must say, the house is looking decidedly tidy and I feel great for making it decidedly tidy ... although it must be said I really enjoyed making it very untidy ... IYKWIM !

General House news

Aaron is off poorly from school today, hence my catch-up on my blog and upgrade to BETA blog ... anyway, his face looks like the elephant man you know the boggy eyes and swollen face - bless ! Surprise surprise tho, he's feeling much better (happened at exactly 9.01am) and after a visit from the postman with Xmas cards for him with heaps of dosh inside .... dya think i'd get away with slipping out a few of the fivers and making them disappear in scrap shops ???

I still need to put the tree up and decorate, but as this means the start of the

'squabble season' its not really enticing me to start .... last year I checked and double checked all the lights .... put them on the tree, switched them on .... rearranged them (because they have to be just so) .... sent hubby for more lights ... put them on ... switched on .... rearranged them .... switched on (yet again) .... and phut ! Two sets blew ... just like that !!! So I de-stripped (if there is such a word) the tree of all its lights ... sent hubby out for more lights .... beautifully arranged the lights again ... and yay they worked ...... for 2 days ... and then another 2 sets blew !!! I blurdy hate lights - but I just can't imagine a tree without them ........ so .... let the squabbles begin ........... tonight ... or tomorrow ... but then I am going to my mums for Xmas so dya think i'd get away without a tree this year ????

Nahhhhhh didn't think I could ... what a bummer !

*stomps off to find lights* >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

<<<<<<<<<<<<< *stomps back with a joke*

Excuse Notes ....

These are actual excuse notes teachers have received, spelling mistakes included.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho !!!!

I've moved !!!!!

......... to the new Beta Blogger ..... i'm hoping now that I can leave posts on other people's Blogs ... Debbie and Roz ... I haven't been ignoring your blogs, I just haven't been able to post :(

Will go and see if I can now >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Xmas Factor Results (and gossip) ....................

Ok ... to start with ... I nearly had a duck egg ... sorry deb !

My secret santa surprise (David - Year 11) got stage fright !!! OMG, he's the gobbiest teenager that has ever walked this planet ... full of bravado ... and gives me so much hassle its unbelievable ... Anyway, his bottle went at rehearsal tonight and was on his way through the door and going home !! I practically had to sit him to get him to stay and I bribed him with every bribe known to man ... anyway, after I paid him a million compliments and told him that I was gonna make him a star .. he stayed.

So with that traumatic event over on we went for the 'real, live' event ....

We three judges took our places behind the screen and the X-Factor music started .... the next two hours just flew by ..... we judges had our fights .. we were booooooed one minute and then cheered the next ... We introduced our acts and then waved em off !!!

Poor Chris when he got up was shaking from top to toe ... the mic shook, his legs shook and his feet wouldn't stay still ... my heart was pounding for him - anyway thankfully he came across with the goods and was a star !

Bev then came on ..... with my secret santa .... OMG ... David only went and stole the flipping show !!!!!!!! At the end people were standing up cheering him ! He wasn't part of the act, just an 'extra' ... and he stole the show ... the kids from school were chanting his name and the wolf whistles nearly brought the house down !!! I could have cried for him !!! BUT ......... then I couldn't get him OFF the stage - he flipping loved it !!!! With my famous 'dirty looks' going into over-drive, I eventually 'eye' hounded him off !

Next came Hayley my Year 7 and her first solo performance EVER - wow, she was breathtaking. She remembered every line, remembered every 'move' ... and absolutely stole the show ..... hence she won !!!!!!! YAY !!!!!!!!!

My act won the show !!!!!!!!!!!! Hayley has won a trip to a recording studio where she will cut her own disc, a makeover and a photo shoot ... and she will be taken everywhere by limousine !

The three teacher acts all went down a storm - and Steve our Deputy Head couldn't stop laughing when the snow machine went into over drive and completely covered him in snow !!!! It was sooooooo funny - I literally peed my pants laughing !!!

All in all the show was fantastic - everyone commented how professional it was - AND most importantly we raised over £500 for the local hospice !!

Now thats what I call a successful night !!!

Thanks for everyone's good wishes it meant a lot to me xxxxxxxxxxxx

Xmas Factor ... and more !!!

Xmas Factor

Remember my soloist who didn't know the song he was supposed to be singing tomorrow night ..... well he phoned me up tonight, and he knows it .... flipping heck, I am soooooooooooooo relieved !!

Its going to be such a long day tomorrow. Apart from all the covers I am doing in school, we've also got a rehearsal at 2.30 which will probably finish about 4.30 and the show starts at 6.30, so I may as well stay in school finish off a few things and get ready there .... I am sure I am gonna fall asleep sitting on the stage !!!!

Wish me good luck for tomorrow folks - and lets pray that one of MY acts wins the fabby prize thats up for offer - will post about it after tomorrow, just in case one of the kids from school 'happens' to wander into my blog !!!!

Joke of the day - couldn't resist !!!

This Year's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess
something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook
them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked,"And just what do those symbolize?

The man replied," "These are Carols."

Carole's - get it ???? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

And So The Holiday Season Begins....

Sarahscards Retreat !!

Wow, I almost .... please note I said almost ... forgot to post about it !!!

Well, what a day !

Lianne and I arrived to be greeted by the most adorable church hall. It was all beautifully laid out with the first kit all ready at each place, a goody bag on each chair, a mug for drinks and a bottle of water for as and when we needed a drink. The place just looked amazing !

On to the first class, which was a stunning canvas book being taught by JulieM. I couldn't believe it, but she had even die-cut all the tiny little pieces ready for us and the major pieces of card had been cut down ready for scoring/cutting etc., The class lasted two hours and the end result was a truly stunning book. I'd never made one before, but having experienced Julie's expert tuition, I know I'll be making many more of them - well I know I will because I've already received an order for one !!!

We then broke for lunch ... OMG ... the food was delicious - homemade potato and leek soup with huge chunks of crusty bread ... followed by chilli, baked spud and heaps of salad. After this, I couldn't move and I could not have eaten another thing if my life depended on it ... BUT ... for dessert there was the most amazing selection of homemade cakes with tea and coffee - gorgeous !!

The second class was an exploding box which was taught by Kirsty. She used the most fabulous bright Crate papers and matching bazzill cardstock for the class. The instructions were fabulous and we were soon whizzing through the project. Again, the outcome was a stunning exploding box ... which I've already had requests to make for people in school.

The third and last class was a star book which was taught by JaniD. Again, the kit was ready and Jan had cut out most of the pieces for us to save us assembling time. Again, under fantastic tuition we managed to complete the most delightful Christmas star book ever !!! and .... yet again, i've already received two requests from teachers in school for them !!!

I'll be crafting every night until Chritmas now !!!

Anyway, following Jan's class there was time for some shopping !!! I managed to pick up Lianne's Biffday present (18th Dec - she'll go mad for me telling ya but who cares) .... and some other bits and pieces.

I truly went home a happy bunny that night - I'd met so many people that I'd been dying to meet - Roz especially because she's on a couple of design teams with me ... and the bonus was in meeting Heather as well. I couldn't believe it, but Pauline (Keltikween) was brought up in the same road as my Aunt and Uncle in Scotland - what a bloody small world eh ?!!!

Anyway, to those lucky enough to be going to Sarah's next retreat - you will have a ball !!! Oh, and a word of advice .... don't eat for at least 3 days before you go !!!

Thanks to Sarah and her team for a fabulous, well-organised retreat - it was cool !!!!!

Goodbyes and Hellos ..... and more !

Goodbyes

Yesterday I said goodbye to Joanne. I think i'd worked myself up into a state all last week because I hadn't felt that I'd said goodbye and paid my respects.

Well, what a funeral ! We laughed, we cried, we laughed again ... it was exactly as Jo would have wanted, and it WAS what she wanted - as she had planned it all herself - except for the slide show which Anita had organised .... honestly, I'll never forget Jo's swimming cap, I'm still chucklin' now !!!

So now I've said my goodbye and I feel the burden of that has been lifted. So long my lovely friend ... until we meet again xxx

Hellos

Now ......... onto the hello's !

Since Jo passed away, I have realised just how many true friends I have made through crafting. So many people have entered my life ... all from different walks of life, and from different parts of the world ... isn't it just absolutely bloody amazing ??

The amount of friends I have made via UKS has been astounding. It really is like a family on there. Ok, there can be friction at times and I'm not saying its all rosy and glowy (if there is such a word - if not, i've made a new word, and I own the copyright) ... BUT ... when someone is in the shit, or is upset or something tragic to them has happened - then the whole UKS community unites ... and THAT is what makes UKS such a special place.

More

Well, I pre-empted the heating situation a tad ... the day after I posted that it was up and running etc., the sodding thing broke down ... anyway, today the heating engineer came back, and we're up and running and cosy and warm again !!

Xmas Factor

Had a rehearsal this afternoon with two of my three contenders. WOW WOW WOW !!! My lovely year 7 Hayley is singing Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and she sounds fantastic !! I just had to get her to move around a little bit, because our stage at school is gigantic, and she would have looked a bit daft just standing there pounding out this fab song .... she was a bit uncomfortable at first with it all, but once I sung it and 'moved' a bit to show her what I wanted - she was fine !!!

Then Beverley - who is singing Santa Baby ... well WOW WOW WOW x 100. The girl is gifted and has talent ... and blurdy hell ... can the girl move !!! Wait until she sees the blow up Santa i've ordered for her performance ... I'm sure she's gonna end up pole dancing around him !!!!

We have a full dress rehearsal tomorrow night, so I'll let you all know how it goes !

JOKE - sorry i've not posted one for ages

A man walked into a pub with an Ostrich and a Pussy Cat.

He walked up the the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich, whisky for the cat".

They found a table, sat down and drank their drinks.

Next it was the ostrichs round. He walked up to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the man, whisky for the cat".

He took the drinks back to the table and they drank them.

When it was the Cat's turn to buy, he told them to "Fuck off!"

So the man went back to the bar and said "Beer for me, beer for the ostrich and whisky for the cat".

The Barman was curious about this and said "I notice that you and the ostrich have both bought a round but the cat hasn't. Why is this?". The man replied, "I helped a little old lady across the road, and she turned out to be my Fairy Godmother. She granted me one wish"."What did you wish for?" said the Barman.

"I wished for a long legged bird with a tight pussy!"

Xmas Factor !

We are holding a Xmas Factor competition at school a week tomorrow (8th December).... I am one of the judges and mentors ... Louis(a) Walsh. My category is the soloists and I have to mentor my charges to perform on the night.

I have Christopher who is in Year 11 and no-one knew he sang ... he was a shock entrant at the auditions and absolutely took my breath away. He made the hairs on my arms stand on end, and made me cry - talk about the voice of an angel !

I then have Beverley who is in Year 11- who has performed several times on stage, has a fantastic powerful voice ... but thinks she knows it all, and we're clashing !

Lastly I have the lovely Year 7 Hayley. She truly has the most beautiful voice I have ever heard, but who has never performed on stage - I have a gut feeling that on the night, her bottle will go .... please god, keep her together for me.

Anyway, all three of us judges are fighting for different lighting and 'extras' for our performers. Carl, our music teacher, got in there first and has pinched the snowflakes that I wanted .... and numerous other 'gadgets and gismos'...

I have managed to secure two Xmas trees to drop from the ceiling as Hayley is 'doing her number' .... and a chaise longe (sp) for Beverley as she's singing Santa Baby ... but I wanted snow when Christopher was singing ..... or pyrotechnics ... I can't have the snow coz Carl has got it .... and unbelievably, the school have refused to let me have fireworks - I am shocked and saddened ....

Dya know what they offered me instead of fireworks and snowflakes ....


Cornflakes !!!

Cornflakes ? What the f**k am I gonna do with cornflakes !!!???? and Debbie Duck, do not say eat em !

Oh, we also have three teachers in the competition - now that should be really funny !

Anyway, practice continues .... so I will keep you updated .... i'm sure you can't wait !!!

~~~ Snuggly again ...... ~~~

The wonderful boiler man came today (i will not moan about the 8 week wait) and fitted our new boiler - YAY !!!

We now have hot water and central heating - YAY !!!!

I am warm ... I can wash the dishes without boiling kettles .... I can have a bath instead of a shower - YAY !!!!

Anyone for a full-to-the-brim-bubble-bath ???

*is happy*

~~ RIP Joanne (Ward) ~~~

You were a part of my life for too short a time, yet your courage, bravery and wicked sense of humour will remain in my heart for a lifetime.

Mammy Hen posted this on UKS ...

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

My thoughts and prayers are with Jo's family and those whose lives Jo touched.

RIP my friend, you are free as a bird now ... xxxxxxxx

*** OMG *** *** a really serious OMG ***

OMG - Sarah @ sarahscards is pregnant with twins !!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean just how coolio is that ?!?!!! I am so overjoyed that I am laughing and crying at the same time !!! TWINS !!!! YAY !!!!

I'm a twin - and I adore being a twin. I love seeing twins together - watching them play is fantastic. Over time you can see how one is more dominant than the other - you never hear them say 'i've got no-one to play with' .... and have you ever seen a Silver Cross Double Coach-built pram - they are not only enormous, but stunningly gorgeous !!!!

Right, i'm running off to the hairdressers now for another chop - but I just wanted to pass on my congrats to SARAH and ROSS - I am overjoyed for you both - All my love - me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

More

Had another fall today, well two ... first one I almost fell sideways and second one I fell UP the stairs and re-hurt my knees and hands.

Felt a right stupid moo.

Will phone doctors tomorrow in case its an ear infection or summit.

I am injured !!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe it ... well I can ... but I'm still blushing ....

I had a bad fall at school today. I was looking in my bag for something and missed a step and ended up falling straight onto my knees - the place was packed with kids who all started laughing at me , but when I started crying, they all ran off hysterically - one to get me a chair and the rest ran off all over the school. The next thing is, three deputy-heads came running out, the Bursor, the Receptionist and two First Aiders !!!! Awww I always give em a hard time (i'm really strict on them - but would like to think fair), so it was luvverly to see the nice side of them !!! Anyway, I've got big scabby swollen, throbby knees !!

Joke

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day.

The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don't shine.

He dropped the horse's tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.

"Hold on there, Mister," said the sheriff. "Did I just see what I think I saw?"

"Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips."

"And that cures them?" the Sheriff asked.

"Nope, but it keeps me from lickin' 'em."

Laugh or puke ?

*** ROZ ***

I can't post on your blog *insert very sad smiley*

That last joke of yours absolutely rocks !!!!!!

** Behold !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My spirits are lifted !!!!

Noooooooooooooooooo not the gin and tonic ... MY spirits ... and not the ghostly ones either - I'm feeling much cheerier .... Hoooray I hear you all shouting !!!

Went to the Manchester Crop today and had a fabby day ... managed to do one layout in between filling my face from the chocolate fountain, and gabbing !!

Its such a fab crop, and there's always a lovely friendly atmosphere. Added to that, it was Lemon's Birthday and Paul had brought a surprise birthday cake - bless !

It really was a great day, and it was lovely to spend time with such lovely, funny people - I love em all xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunday Joke

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal.

Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger.

He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"

Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting you should see him make donuts."

Thursday Thinkers ......

UKS Cybercrop

I'm in the Hufflepuffs and my 'Magic' name is Perpetua Phoeinxfire !! Posh or wot ??

Also, and I know its news to you folks - but i've just today given birth to triplets - yes, i've become 'Mummy' to three utterly butterly triplets called acidburnrosie, bitsandbobs and jimjams .... am I lucky or wot ??? Can't wait to see what trouble i get them into during this Cyber Crop.

I must say, the funniest thing that happened was during the Mardi Gras crop earlier on in the year. I'd logged on at about 6.00am because I just couldn't sleep - and lo and behold .. there were other people in the chat room including Scrapbunny ... Fi was dropping hints about the first challenge .. which was summit to do with ladders. Well, the previous evening I had 'spied' this 'tip off', and I'd made Stewart go straight out, and get the ladders out of the shed. So, that Sunday morning, I was well prepared and ready for the challenge - and I told Fi that my ladders were ready for the off .... Typical me and my big gob - Fi didn't mean ladders in the 'normal' sense ... she meant that we would be doing a psychological LO about obstacles that we'd had to overcome and ladders that we'd had to climb. (you had to be there ... it was sooooo funny) Anyway, when we'd all calmed down from laughing ... she gave us an instant challenge - We all had to get a photo of our 'cyber buddy' teddies wearing their mardi gras masks ON A LADDER !!! Can you imagine 20+ women across the country running outside in their pj's clambering for photographs of teddies in masks on ladders !!!

That moment has defo been one of my favourite highlights since joining UKS - besides making so many wonderful friends.

Just to add on the end of this post that I've had an ok day today - i've not eaten bread all day - can't say there's been a massive difference, but then again, i've not been taking the tablets for 24 hours, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this might help.

Joke of the Day

A man runs to the doctor and says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"

The doctor asks, "How long has she had this condition?"

"Two years," says the man.

"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the shrink.

The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, "We needed the eggs."

I don't know whether to laugh or puke !!!

Bugger bugger bugger .....

I must have been really bad in my past life - I don't believe it !!!!!!!!!

I've had a really 'icky' very painful tummy for quite a few days now. It felt as if I had a lump or something under my belly button. My belly looks as if I'm 9 months pregnant, and about to give birth, and every time I eat I 'have to go' even mid-meal :(

My twin brother had a belly button hernia about 18 months ago and had to have it operated on, so I thought it was that.

Anyway, felt really crap in work today, so got Stewart to phone docs for an appointment. It turns out he thinks I have Irritable Bowel. Bloody hell - this is all I need. Oh, and if I don't improve within two weeks then I've to go back :(

I've said it before - I hate being ill - and I hate feeling crap - but bloody hell, I rattle with tablets as it is without taking more. I am sooooooooooo fed up - as if I haven't got enough to sodding deal with at the moment :(

On a lighter note ........

Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that''s going around?"

The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you''re a penguin, doesn''t it?"

Secret Halloween Layout ... and more

Halloween Layout

I won a prize for it on another forum - yay !!!!! It amazes me that the layouts that just 'put themselves together' are the ones I'm more thrilled with.

I confess to having spent 3 hours on a layout once - and it is absolutely utter garbage - it has NEVER been shown anywhere and won't !!!

Hubby and I

Things are better - for now. I can't believe we had a 'tiff' over whether we bought a wholemeal loaf or a granary loaf - honestly, if I'd had enough of a loaf left it would have gone 'where the sun don't shine' !!!!

Sarah

Is still very pregnant and I'm still very happy - YAY for Sarah !!!

Manchester Crop

I can't believe how excited I am about Sunday's crop - not only is it a full day of scrapping and chatting - but its a CHOCOLATE CROP !!!!!! Sam is bringing a chocolate fountain with heaps of chocolate and goodies to 'dip' in ..... just give me the whole fountain is what I say !!!

Did I mention that whilst on our visit to Edinburgh there was a chocolate fountain in Thorntons and they were charing £1.50 for a slug from the choccie fountain - and £1.94 for a fruit kebab and dip in the fountain - the kebab consisted of two slices of kiwi, two slices of apple and two slices of something that i've yet to discover what it was !!!! £1.95 - the robbing barstewards !!!

Joke

Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a lodger in their terrace house.

After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a near-by city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.

Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away.

"There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to have a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath."

"That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin bath out in the yard and we bring it into the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water."

"What about your husband? asked the model.

"Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris.

"Good," said the model. "Now that that's been settled, I'll go to the studio and see you tonight."

That evening, Fred dutifully went to his darts match while Doris prepared the bath for the model. After stripping off, the model stepped into the bath. Doris was amazed to see that she had no pubic hair.

The model noticed Doris' staring eyes, so she smiled and explained that it is part of her job to shave herself, especially when modeling swimmer or underclothes.

Later when Fred returned, Doris related this oddity and he does not believe her.
"It's true, I tell you!" said Doris. "Look, if you don't believe me, tomorrow night I'll leave the curtains slightly open and you can peek in and see for yourself."

The next night, Fred left as usual and Doris prepared the bath for the model. As the model stepped naked into the bath, Doris stood behind her.

Doris looked towards the curtains and pointed towards the model's naked pubic area. Then she lifted up her skirt and wearing no panties, pointed to her own hairy mass.

Later Fred returned and they retired to bed.

"Well, do you believe me now?" she asked Fred. "Yes, he replied. "I've never seen anything like it in my life. But why did you lift up your skirt and show yourself?"
"Just to show you the difference," answered Doris. "But I guess you've seen me millions of times."

"Yes, said Fred, I have - but the rest of the dart team hadn't."

I'll leave you all with that sobering thought ............

Topy Turvy Life ...

My life is so topsy turvy .... I am sooooooo busy with 'getting on with life' things .. yet I do have spare time, but it whizzes past me.

We're fighting to keep our school from an amalgamation at the moment - Save Our School - is our battle cry. We had a fantastic meeting with Councillors at our school last week and then the same session including the parents. 200 parents, past-students, locals turned up for the event. The kids in school made banners, badges, art work, poetry ... it was a fantastic response !

We've had a multi-million pound sports centre built in the last few years and last year we had an Olympic sized athletics track and 'more sporty stuff'' built - so how come they're even considering closing our school - its beyond me !!

The truly fantastic thing that has come out of it tho, is the way that the whole school has joined together - pupils, teachers and governors. The atmosphere around school is tremendous !!

I have always believed that behind every tragedy in life that there is a silver lining - and this has been ours.

So fingers crossed everyone that Rochdale Council decide to keep MY school and the other school open.

More

Hubby and I are having a crap time at the moment - can't put my finger on it, and he won't open up and talk. I know he's in constant pain, and I know he's bored at home all day - but unless he can open up to me, then there's nothing I can do - I really just wanna run away at the moment *insert sad smiley*

Oh well, at least i've got the Manchester crop next Sunday and then Sarah's retreat on the weekend of the 25th to look forward to - jeez I need a break. I just hate leaving the little fella when hubs is feeling like this.....

Sorry to heap this on my 'readers' but I need to offload somewhere.

Lianne

I know you read this so once again I just want to publically/blog-ly say thank you for being there for me - you're my saving angel and I luvs ya loads xxxx

I'm Home !!!!!!!!!

Well actually I got home Friday after a horrendous drive home through the torrential rain and even more horrendous spray off the motorway, so I've been resting. Sort of.

One needs ones rest when you get to my 'twilight' years.

Oh, I also had a sort-of fabby birthday too. I got the most fandabeedozee pressie from Lianne and she'd made the most gorgeous tin to put all my pressies in WITH a matching card !!! It is heavenly !

I also got a pair of hip and trendy PJ's from the Heir Apparent, and off hubby I got some knickers and I will eventually (i am lead to believe) get some perfume that i've been after since ... well .... time began. Mum gave me money which is going towards the Fairy Retreat in Feb when I get to meet Sir Tim *insert swooning slobbering smiley* !! MIL & FIL bought me the most chic pair of lush green silky PJ's ... I got money and vouchers off some of my other friends - and I got millions of cards ... well ok ... trillions !!!!!!!!!! It looks like Christmas in the Hysterical household !!

I'm rabbiting again - sorry ....

Well, i've done my motherly and SIL duties during the holiday. I've driven over the Forth Bridge in Scotland four times in four days ... i've driven down more windy flipping Scottish lanes than erm erm ... whatsisname ... erm ... oh yeah .. Braveheart - and I'm now tired and knackered and wiped out .. and things. I'm also back at school tomorrow *insert sad smiley* and I haven't had a break and won't do now until Christmas *insert hysterically sobbing smiley*.

Anyway, my ickle friends and playmates, i'll leave you with a 'wee joke'

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George's Day," commented the English man. "So we obviously decided to call him George" "That's a real coincidence," remarked the Scot. "My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew." "That's incredible, what a coincidence, "said the Irishman. "Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."

Heh heh ...

The Secret Layout ... and more .... and more ...

Ahem ... thanks Mrs Duck ... but this is my secret layout that I mentioned \/ down there .... it didn't show ... I edited it ... twice .. I swear - and it just hasn't shown up .. anyway .... i'll try again ... aaaah there it is !!! Seeeeee I did have a layout !!!!


Yes, I've been tagged again !!!!!

I have to think of another five weird things about me .... so .......

1. I love cutting my toe nails ... I just can't wait until they start annoying me and I have to chop em ... hmmmmm i love the sound of the crunch as I chop em !

2. I hate beans .. baked, boiled, runner, kidney ... and the worst offender of all .... BUTTER BEANS !!! I mean WTF are they ??? They're gross ... they don't even taste of butter, they taste of cacky cardboard ... yeuch yeuch *puke*

3. Ears. I MUST have clean ears. A nurse once complimented me (well, told me off) by saying that my ears were too clean - I mean what does she want me to have - dirty, grubby, mite infected-potatoes-growing-out-of-them-ears ??? eh ? eh ? She had the nerve to tell me that I should put nothing bigger than an elbow down my ear !!!!! Hmmmm thinking about it, maybe I should go on that long-promised diet, coz maybe then i'd get my elbow down em !!!! I didn't dare mention that my mate Little Sue (long story, but there's big sue, little sue, chinese sue, big big sue, birkenhead sue, school sue ..... dya see where i'm going with this) ... anyway, Little Sue puts knitting needles down her ears to scratch em !!!!!!!!! How gross/bad/excruciating is that ..... anyway, I never snitched on her to the nurse .... *is a good fwend*

Sorry I rabbited for a bit there .............

4. Porridge - i love it ... but ONLY WITH SALT and NO milk - how do people eat such a fine delicacy when its made with milk AND sugar AND jam - how gross is that ..... Porridge should be eaten pure ... with just a ickle bit of salt - lo fat salt of course :)

5. I will only drink out of a china cup or mug - it makes me heave drinking out of a pottery mug, but I will, at a push drink from one of them <>Cough/cold
........ 'tis still ongoing ........ *cough* *cough* *cough*

Farepak Hamper & Voucher doo-dah

Sadly, I was one of the unlucky ones who got 'stung' - but I consider myself lucky in that my gorgeous, wonderful Heir Apparent is more grown up than his young 10 years ... and says he understands. *blubs* ... what did I do to deserve this wonderful boy.

I feel so sorry for the woman with 11 kids who has lost everything .... and the single mum with 3 kids who is on the dole .... there are so many children that are going to go without this year that it breaks my heart.

I ask anyone who reads this blog - please - if you know someone - and please NOT me - who has been stung, would you please put an extra little something in your Christmas shopping basket for one of these kids.

My little un will be ok, I and my family will make sure he is ... but there are people out there who have no means to earn extra money except to go into extra debt, and no family to lend from - so please, please, please think of these children. Thank you xxxx

Soooooooo funny !!!!

"Can I have some Irish Sausages, please?" asked the Irishman,walking up to the counter.The assistant looked at him and asked: "Are you Irish?"

"If I had asked you for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? demanded the Irishman indignantly." Or, if I asked forGerman Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?" then, warming to his theme, he went on:"Or if I asked you for a Kosher hot dog, would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or, if I asked you for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican? Would ya? Would Ya?"

The assistant said: "Well no".

Suitably encouraged by the success of his logic, the Irishman stepsit up a gear. "And if I asked you for frogs legs, would you ask me if Iwas French? What about Danish Bacon, would you ask me if I was Danish?"

"Well, I probably wouldn't," conceded the assistant.

So, now bursting with righteous indignation, the Irishman says,"Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Irish just because I asked for Irish sausages?"

The assistant replied:"Because you're in fecking Homebase."

Bathroom complete

YAY !!! Just waiting to have it photographed now, and then i'll post pics.

Cold/Cough

Ongoing - but Aaron has it now as well.

Birthday

I've received one card and present ... and confess ... I opened it ... sorry but I had to - it was calling out to me !!! How it knew my name i'll never know, but I swear, it shouted to me. I linguered over opening it .... and there it was a fantastic K & CoNeopolitan Accordian Book Kit !!!! I've been looking at these for ages saying yes, no, yes, no ... anyway YES I have one !!!!

*insert a sort of guilty smiley*

Cold/cough - Part 2

I've just been reliably informed whilst typing this up that hubby now has 'the cold' ..... for gods sake he coughed once and sniffed once !!!!!!!

Layout - pictured

This is Aaron taken after a Halloween party at our local pub last year - isn't he adorable !!!

Have I mentioned Parents Evening ?? Right, if I haven't I'll mention it next time.

*is a proud mum*

Its not funny anymore .....

Having a cold/cough/flu .......

Since having my hysterectomy, every time I cough or laugh, I 'slightly' 'pee' myself ... I mean I normally PML ... all the time .. but I do literally PM !!

Since having my latest 'cold/flu/virus/'whatever' I've been peeing myself silly - and i'm now fed up with it *insert sad sad smiley*

HOWEVER ......... this is nothing compared to the amount of tablets I am now taking ... My mother .. who does NOT believe in 'hokey pokey' (alternative) medicine has sent me Selenium tablets to take "to build up my immune system" ...... my MIL has now sent ... garlic capsules (only to be taken at night) and echinacea (sp) (three to start with and one a day when i feel better) ... and thats without my Night Nurse (at night - obviously) and all my heart tablets (of a night only - 1 with food, 2 without food ) !!

Now those who know me, know that I love rocking, rolling and rattling ... but I swear to god (yet again) .. that I am absolutely rattling ... you can hear me 100 miles away ... I am awash with tablets - i HATE HATE HATE tablets ... I feel like a hypochondriac (sp - again) ... with all this excessive tablet taking :(

I don't wanna to be ill, I don't wanna be an invalid - and I don't wanna be full of hocus pocus tablets ...... and more than anything, i don't wanna rattle !!!!!!!!

*insert woe is me smiley*

I am well and truly fed up and p'd off.

*** TGIF ***

Thank god its Friday !!

I'm full of cold and feeling sorry for myself :( I hate, hate, hate being ill :(

We had a chippy for tea, because I couldn't be bothered cooking, and I can't say I particularly liked it coz I just wasn't in the mood ... I shouldn't have had anything really ... thinking about it on reflection ... never mind :(

Design Team

Phew - I've completed all my projects for Little Silver Hat and Scrapfairies DTs. They're photographed and sent - will add them to my slide when Slide.com decides that it likes me again and decides to let me add and delete my photographs :(

Birthday and Christmas :(

Aaron has just given me his Birthday and Christmas list - I think i'll run away now .......>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Hang on .................... its my Birthday before his .... maybe I'll stay long enough to get any presents and then do a runner.

Birthday's are a funny old thing. Your nearest and dearest ask you what you want, and then they buy you something totally random !!! One of my ex's once bought me a whore (got to be said in scouse accent - who-er) red bedtime shawl - I mean wtf was all that about ?????? I asked him, and he said 'well you said you like red' .... erm ... hellloooooooo .... I mean sexy red underwear, or a nice red dress/blouse/pj's ... NOT an old ladies bedtime sodding shawl !!!

My mother once bought me a Kenwood Chef mixer - helllooooooo I don't bake !

And my hubby always buys me CD's .... helloooooooo I have limewire, why would I actually want someone to PAY for CD's for me ???

I must have "Buy her crap presents" stamped all over my head !!!!!

Please understand that I'm not ungrateful ... far from it ... I'd be quite happy with £2 worth of beautiful patterned papers .... or even a sheet of alpha's ... or £2 worth of lush ribbons .... ...... see, i'm not that hard to please.

Anyway, as ones Birthday is looming ... I will keep all you millions of Hysteri-cal blog readers posted !!!!

Dont you ever wish that you were a famous crafter/scrapper/whatever ... and millions of people read your Blog ?? Aaaah well ... i'm grateful, well more than grateful ... in fact, I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL ... to those who read, but more importantly post here - thank you xxxxxxxxxxxx

Monday Blog ......

If you could change places with someone (be they dead or alive, famous or not) for one day, who would it be and why?

Marilyn Monroe - I was born to be Marilyn Monroe ... in fact, there's a little Marilyn Monroe bursting to get out of me ... its just such a shame that she's hidden behind all this flab .... but she'll emerge one day .... honest !!!

Bathroom - yes, the ongoing saga

The glass we ordered for the shelves was too blurdy big - because its reinforced/strengthened/whatever-you-call-it ... the glazier reckons you can't trim it down, so we've had to re-order it *boo hoo damn and blast* ... It means that my THREE glass shelves have now cost in the region of £130 (including the brackets) .... but my beautiful new towels and matching shower curtains match fabulously well ... and no-one but no-one is allowed to touch the white and cornflower blue ones .... its death if they do - and i'm serious !!!

Geography

I taught one of the best ever Geography classes today - it went brilliantly - and I am tooting my own trumpet and saying even I surpassed myself. Welllll at the end of the day, if I don't toot myself, no bugger else will.

Aaron aka Heir Apparent - growing up etc.

Well my Heir Apparent went for his taster day at his chosen High School. I never slept all night, and the bloody bugger didn't kiss me goodbye ... even though I let him stay school dinners for the day/woke him up/pressed his uniform twice/found all his pens, pencils etc/and picked up all his mates ..... THEN when Stewart dropped em all off, my Heir Apparent didn't even turn around/wave/anything !!! *insert sobbing smiley*

I got to school, got in the staff room and broke my heart crying - dear god, no-one told me how hard it is to start letting go .... I DON'T WANNA LET GO .... I want my baby back .... I'm crap at all this 'give em enough rope' 'let go of the apron string' .... I'm a mum, I love being a mum, my boy is my life .... Somebody slap me - please !!!! Its horrible, awful and downright gut wrenching. I love this boy so much, and I don't want anything awful to happen to him ... so how do I let go ????? Where's the manual telling me how to do it eh ? eh ?

Ok, thats my whinge for the day xxxxxxx

Sunday Prompt

1: Do you have any middle names? Anne

2: Whats under your bed right now? Massive box of photographs and my memory boxes for Aaron.

3: Last time you laughed so much you cried? When I heard that Sarah from www.sarahscards.co.uk had got 6 fertilised eggs for implanting. I said to Lianne, how the hell is she gonna cope with sextuplets ? I didn't realise that they only implant 2 eggs - i'm still chuckling away and that was on Friday. I am a terrible giggler tho, and its normally at the most inopportune moments !!!!!

If you believe in prayers girls - please throw up a couple for Sarah and Ross that their egg implantation is successful.

4: What age were you when you first drank alcohol? 15 - cider !

5: Whats your porn star name? (first pets name and mothers maiden name) Sandy Crichton

6: Whats your desk top photo on your pc Stephen Gerrard - Liverpool FC

7: What did you have for breakfast? Grilled bacon, poached egg , mushrooms and toast

8: Music or Tv? Music

9: Worst out fit you have ever worn? Puff ball skirt or pinafore dress over Birmingham Bags !!!!

10: Where do you feel most at peace? Culzean Castle in Scotland .. its breathtaking and serene.

Aaaargh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just finishing off the housework and the flipping Dyson has broke - i've had to hand brush down the stairs - yeuch !

Bathroom

Its being finished this afternoon. Oh well, just the boiler to get repaired in two weeks - yes, two weeks - how crap is that !

Bugger ... forgot to Update ... here we go ......

Schools

Well we went to visit the 2nd of schools on Aarons list - and the one that I really, really, really would like him to go to. Yes, they're strict (love it), yes their exam results are incredible (love it) and yes they have accelerated learning (love it even more). It means that if Aaron is capable, then he will sit his GCSE's a year early and then the following year he will sit his AS's.

I am truly desperate to get him in there, the reputation of the school is fantastic, so I was prepared to be overwhelmed by the school ... well College as its called. I was however, surprised by how 'homely' the school felt - especially when I walked down one particular corridor - it was really freaky but this feeling washed over me ... and it felt comforting and homely ??!! I am hoping it was a very good vibe !! So fingers crossed all you Bloggers !!!

Bathroom

Its being finished tomorrow - YAY !!!! Lianne has kindly said that she will come up and take some photographs during the week - so keep your eyes peeled for bathroom photos !!!

Bits and Bobs ....

I haven't spoke to my friend from 'home' Angela for months and months. When I lived back 'home' we were inseperable even though she's married with two beautiful daughters. She's a soul mate .. you know the type, it doesn't matter what you say or do, they're your friend because they love and care for you. Well as I've said, for one reason and another ... we've not spoken for over two months.

I had a really 'orrible dream about Angela last night, and I was that upset by it, that I promised myself to phone her today. I was up early because I was still upset about the dream ... and I clock watched until 10 o'clock and then phoned. We were on the phone for hours and it was as if I'd only spoken to her yesterday - isn't that just the great thing about friendship .... no matter what happens - your friends are always there.

Say aya to great friendships - AYE !!!!!!!!

Drawers - not knickers !!!!

Stewart is 'trying' to build some drawers from a flat pack for my 12x12 papers - he's already stabbed the screwdriver through his hand ... and he's currently swearing his head off in the other room .... I think i'll stay safely ensconsed on my poot until he's managed to complete the task !!!!! Men and flat packs - they just don't go together !!!

Thanks for reading - i hope you all have a fabby weekend xxxxxxx

Tuesday UKS Blog

Prompt supplied by the luvverly Mandy.

What 5 thinks currently make you happy ?

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:-

1. My new One Heart ... One Mind - Metropolitan papers - wow are these lush papers or what ???

Thank you to my lubberly lubberly mate Lianne for surprising me with them xx

2. Fags - I couldn't live without one at the moment, i'm stressed to the max.

3. Surprise bottle of wine my luvverly hubby bought for me today, which is currently chilling in the frige.

4. My most-luvverliest Heir Apparent ... he just says the most thoughtful things when I need a boost. He makes me laugh, makes me smile, and reminds me why life is good, even when its not !

5. The fantastically, incredibliest, scrummiest, delishushiestliest ribbons from Little Silver Hat - wow wow wow .... am I impressed or what ....

Well, i've just read this list back... and it makes me sound like a really shallow person ... but sitting here right now, this second .. they're what makeme happy.

Update on Boiler

Thats the heating boiler not a bunny boiler.

There isn't an update. Its knackered. Kapoosh. Gone.

I'm sitting here naked while I'm typing this ... ok then ... i'm half undressed coz i'm waiting for the water to heat for a baff .... honest to god, this is no joke ... family are moaning coz i've opened the front door and put it on the latch, and the back door is WIDE WIDE open ... its cold, raining and horrible ... and i'm half naked .... *will say no more* I want a boiler !!!!

Plumber-type-company phoned Stewart today - they'll be there in 2/3 weeks - 2/3 week !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told them we had no hot water and no heating - 2/3 weeks - what a joke !!!!

Its probably my fault for telling one of those 'white lies' that I hate other people telling ..... *insert woe is me smiley* *again*

Scrapbooking things ......

I've done two DT layouts, one tag book and a card ... need to do more, so will try and get another LO done tonight.... I have promised myself

College

I'm four weeks behind in my work and can't find my file ... i'm in deep doo doo because I HAVE to go on Thursday *insert another woe is me smiley*

Time

I have none.

Thanks for reading- love you all loads - Cal xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Moving Up .. CJ's ...... etc.etc.

Jeez - i'm worrying myself sick about what High School to send Aaron to. After much debate, Stewart and I have decided to leave the decision to Aaron. It seems that some of his friends are going to either one of two schools. One of them, I wouldn't have chosen, and went to Open Evening with very negative thoughts.

However, I was pleasantly surprised - in fact, I was really impressed. Of course I gave each department the 3rd degree and in most instances, they were happy to show me their past exam figures and also their Short and Long Term plans - believe me, there's not a lot of schools who would do that.

Anyway, we're visiting the second school on Thursday - which is the one I really would love him to go to but, we're out of the area *insert sad smiley* - so we'll have to see how it goes.

CJ's

I've just finished my entry for Kyms CJ (stamp galaxy) via the UKSTampers forum. Can't say too much, but the title of her CJ is Objects of Desire - bearing in mind, i'm feeling really fed up and miserable at the moment, sadly I think my entry has reflected that - although I really love the work that i' ve done - am I going mad or wot ??

Boiler

Our boiler isn't working - we can only get hot water if we put the heating on, and as i'm having hot flushes at the moment, its not helping having a hot house !!! I could grow banana trees in here !!!

After a visit from the Heating Engineer yesterday (an emergency visit), it became apparent that the flipping thing is knackered. We could spend about £100 plus labour (god knows what that will be) ... and it still might not be repaired - or we can go for a new boiler ....

How come when we think we're getting somewhere, something else goes wrong ???

I'm well cheesed off !

Sunday UKS Prompt

Five things that really peeve you off ..... oh, this should be sooooo easy for me !

1. 'Lifted' ahem ....pinched from Rebecca, but nevertheless its one of the things that really cheese me off ... People who do not indicate ... I mean WTF ?? why ? whats the sense ? When someone smashes into your arse-end, what are you going to write on your claim form? And don't get me on people who 'cut me up' Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !

2. People who don't put things away ... why oh why do people, take the milk out of the fridge, make a cup of tea and then walk away ?? Uh ?? It just doesn't make sense to me - Stewart is forever taking things out and not putting them back. He'll take out the Argos book, bring it into the kitchen to read it on the kitchen table and then just walk away - why ????? Grrrrrrrrrrr !

3. Liars - I can't bear people who lie and white lies drive me even more insane, because there's no need for them ... mind you, it might be that I'm jealous because I can't lie for love nor money - you can tell in my eyes if I'm lying, because they tell everything - my eyes are very definitely my soul ! Grrrrrr !

4. Common courtesy - what happened to it ? Don't people teach their kids about courtesy anymore ? I will NOT give anything, lend anything or do anything unless it comes with a please and thank you. I hate bad manners - sorry, but another Grrrrrrrrrrrr !

5. Bullies - just the word speaks for itself. In school, I come down hard on bullies and I take no prisoners. Even in adult life - I hate bullying companies, banks who bully you into taking out loans you can't afford, bullying advertising campaigns ... you're a crap mother if you don't buy your child this or that ... it is all a form of bullying - and people need to start complaining.

If you get ship loads of junk mail - take your details off and mail it back - simple - they'll soon stop when their postage costs increase !!!